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Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Today, I received a wonderful little post in my inbox.  RSS readers are beautiful things.  I love when my Heavenly Father uses my crazy little technologies to reach me, on a busy day...even at work.

You should take a few minutes to read it as well.  It will do you good.  It's over at Heart to Heart with Holley - click here to read the post.

Part of her post has stuck with me throughout the day...mainly two specific words.
Two words that I need to tattoo on my heart.  (no worries mom - I mean figuratively, not literally)

"Even so.
Those two little words don't deny the difficulties or paste on a smile that says, "Everything is fine." They acknowledge life is hard. They recognize the obstacles.
But in the end, they shift our gaze from what we see to Who we know.
And that changes everything...
especially us."

Life is hard.
Anyone that tells you differently is either lying to you or insane.
I'm serious.

I'm so thankful that I know someone who can handle it, because I definitely can not.
He can handle all those things that just don't make any sense to us.  He can get us through even when we think we can't go any further.  So, as I've said before many times...I will learn to see through the circumstances.  I will find His gift in the craziness.

No matter what, even so, I will fight feeling with feeling and shift my gaze to Him.

Thankful for:
a chubby, little, gibberish-speaking munchkin
bath time
a few days with my Jubilee
blogs that help get me back on track...on a daily basis.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Seriously Mummy?

Today we had a great time at church and then a fun, picnic lunch at the park!  Looking forward to another great Sunday in 7 days!
The little one had quite a bit of fun but wasn't too sure about taking pictures.  He preferred to stop smiling every time I picked up the camera. 
But, I did get one cute one.  Well, at least cute to me. 
He was off running around, having a blast.  I grabbed my camera and went to take a picture.  I captured his eyes talking...and they were saying "Seriously, Mummy?"

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Did I mention my sister is awesome?

Actually, all of my sisters are awesome.  It's just that one of my sisters recently swam at the state meet. 
She is a very cool girl!
 She swam so fast that we could barely keep up with her! 
My little photographer-helper kept yelling "Go, go, go!  Where is she?  Oh. there!  Go, go go"  Then, after the race was finished she would look at me and say "She is so fast! Can ya believe it?"
It was a fun day.  I enjoyed watching her swim and I enjoyed listening to the "play by play" from my niece.  It's not every day that you get such a cute sports announcer at a swim meet!  

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Getting back on track

I've totally fallen off the blog wagon.  I've been traveling across the country, back and forth between time zones, forgetting to pause and write a post.
My bad.
I'm going to be better.  As I've said before, I love that I serve an unfailingly loving God.  Who allows me to stumble and is right there to pick me up again.  Something about this blog reminds me of Him.  (Probably the fact that the entire reason I started it in the first place was to chronicle the blessings that He gives me on a daily basis.)  I wanted to learn to find the gift even in bad days.  To see His love and blessings on days when I would normally only see clouds.
Such great ambitions.  And then, I fail.  I get busy.  I get sidetracked.  I write blessings but am too busy to figure out what number they are... I don't remember to see His good in my everyday.  Yet, He is right there, not waiting to punish me for overlooking Him, but waiting to welcome me back with open arms.  It just doesn't get any cooler than that...
Oh, how I want to be that parent to my little one.  I want him to feel that he is loved unconditionally.  I want him to know that his family will always be there for him.  That even on bad days, when things go terribly wrong, we are there for him.  Not to point blame or question if he actually tried his best, but to be there with open arms.  To love on him.  Just like his Heavenly Father.
And so, I will get back up and start again.  I will continue my list of my 1000 gifts.  I will go back and number the gifts that I listed without numbers.  And, I will move on and get back on track.

His gifts to me today:
  • Fresh vegetables grilled to perfection (394)
  • A day without Coca-cola (395)
  • A gentle breeze during my entire walk to work (396)
  • Life sans mosquitos, if only for a few days (397)
  • Blog posts that help keep me in the "mummy" loop, even when I'm currently working away from home and unable to make Mummy and kid play dates at the park.  (it is evident to me that Mums might get more out of those playdates than the kids do)  MckMama has some of my favorites...We've implemented quite a few of her ideas for eating and now, my kiddo who lived in the NICU because he refused to eat, now joyfully eats any vegetable given to him! Now, I'm off to soak up some of her suggestions for tantrums!  :)  (398)
  • Fun "words with friends" games with friends I've never met in real life... (399)
  • No USA channel in my hotel room...His perfect gift to me to allow me to actually get my schoolwork completed...  Yes, I'm taking a few classes this fall.  Obviously, I've lost my mind (400)
  • Friendly Texans eating dinner at the table next to me.  This anti-social girl actually carried on a conversation with strangers and lived to tell about it. (401)
  • Number 4 from the Manifesto for Joyful Mothering. The phrase "Fight Feeling with Feeling" - one of my favorite quotes from Ann Voskamp.  It truly is impossible to be irritated at people who irritate you if you are busy thinking about things you love. (402)

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Sumer Fun and Family . . .

About a month ago, we took the little one to the Frio River.  Most of my family was able to come and we descended upon the unsuspecting rental home...It was great!

We went tubing, we played in the pool, we ate tons of food and while the little one slept, we stayed up late talking and reminiscing together.  It was good for my soul.  It was also good for my health, since it involved lots of gut-wrenching laughter. Laughter that I’m not sure would have been possible if we had not been raised the way that we were raised...

I love my family.  I love my siblings.  Growing up, there were times that I would have given them away to the first person that wanted to kidnap them, but thankfully, my parents wouldn’t let me.  Deep down, I also knew that they would be so exasperating that any kidnapper would rapidly return to our home to give them back.

Back in May, my sister posted some of her thoughts about out parents to her blog in honor of their anniversary:

“Thank you for struggling.  Thank you for showing us that marriage is not effortless or without drama.  I used to think that if couples didn’t disagree, that meant they loved each other more...now I know it just means they were on the second marriage or living a lie.  Thank you for teaching us to be creative, loving, patient and devoted.  Thank you for setting an example.”

There hasn’t been a week since she posted those words that they don’t pop into my mind.  I think that not only did out parents teach us and set an example for marriage, but also for family dynamics as well.  They taught us that you can fight and get mad and then- apologize, heal and “go outside to play”... (Those were some of my parents favorite words to us when we weren’t getting along - it’s amazing how playing outside in God’s creation can take away most irritation.)

I always thought that it was normal to deal with “who people are”...to accept them for who God made them to be... but then, I grew up.  I quickly realized that this isn’t how most of our society functions.  Instead, this way of thinking was truly a gift from our parents.  They raised us to not be critical of others - of their thoughts, their actions, their feelings, their choices...but to realize that God made them how He made them for a reason.  That God put them where He put them for a reason.  That the choices they make, are just that - their choices.  That God didn’t put us in charge of their life for a reason.

Oh, how I wish others could learn to think this way.  To heed the recommendation given to us from Jesus in Matthew 7...to deal with the log in our own eye, before dealing with the speck in others’ eyes.  How much easier and less stressful my life would be if others would not cast their criticism my way.  If they would realize that my husband and I are doing what we feel we are called to do...for right now.  It makes me sad to see how a critical spirit can infect so many people. 

But, that sadness brings me to my knees, to His feet.  I pray that I do not allow a critical spirit to infect me...that I will raise my children to feel loved and cherished and accepted...no matter what.  That they will know that I might not always be happy with their decisions, but that I will ALWAYS be here...loving them and accepting them.  I pray that I do not allow other’s critical spirits to hurt me.  That I will continue to remember that HE is in charge and that I don’t know what others are going through.  That all I can do it be in charge of me, and strive to raise a happy, healthy, patient, loyal, creative and devoted family.

Thankful for these things that bring me closer to Him...
Thankful for loving parents, siblings and friends - who love and accept me even when they totally don’t understand me....

Monday, August 2, 2010

the little one looses his locks

It was time.
He had such beautiful golden locks.  A little too beautiful.  My mom and sister kept telling me that I should get his hair cut, but I resisted...for awhile.  Until he kept waking from his naps with knots in his hair.
I'm the mum of a boy.  I shouldn't have to comb tangles out of his hair.  So, off we went to find a cool place for his very first (of many) haircuts.
And we found one...Snip-its
A very cool haircut place for very cool kids.  My kiddo fit the bill.  An adorable kid with too much hair.  I'm not biased at all...
He was such a good sport.  Calmly allowing her to put the green "super cape" on him.  Until, he decided that things were more "super" without the cape.
Calmly allowing her to snip off little locks of his hair.  Until, he realized that she was using scissors.  Yep, scissors. Near his head.
 
After a short stare-down, the little one decided that she could finish his haircut.  When she was finished, she gave the little one a card to put in the machine.  When he put it in, the machine made a loud sound and spit out a toy.  At first, he wasn't sure what he thought about that machine, but when the toy came flying out, he immediately became a fan!  She also gave him a certificate and little baggie filled with his locks.  He was totally unimpressed with that gift, but him mummy was very grateful!
The little one - sans blonde, curly locks.  His mummy is definitely a fan.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

a momentary gripe session

Somedays, I just want to move into a cave and become a hermit.
I'll take my husband and kiddo with me.
I just DON'T understand why people feel the need to tell me what God wants my husband and I to do. 
Maybe I misunderstood things.  But, I don't think so.  I'm pretty confident that MY Heavenly Father talks to me.  I understand that I need to listen.  And, I am trying really hard to do just that.  But, when all of these other people keep telling my husband and I what God really wants us to do, I get very frustrated.
I seriously believe they think that they have a little red phone with which to talk to God about my family.  Evidently, their lives are perfect, so they are on to perfecting ours.
Ugh.
Yes, I know that it would be absolutely awesome if my husband and I were in the same city and same house all of the time.  It would be great if I didn't have to travel for work.  Heck, it would be great if I didn't have to work.  In fact, I think it would be fantastic if the tree in the backyard would miraculously start hatching 1000 bills.  Then, we would be able to stay at home and do whatever it is that we are evidently not doing right now.
I understand that it would be best for me to be at home all of the time. But, I also understand that we have debt.  We are working hard to get rid of our debt.  So that I can stay home with our kids.  But, for right now, we work- outside the home.  And, we feel strongly that this is what we are called to do right now. This is possible thanks to my family being able to help with the little one.  They help becuase they want to - I've offered to find childcare, but for right now, my father, sister and brother are really enjoying spending time with the little one.  When the time comes that my family is not able to help, we will rethink our plans.  But, for now, we are getting out of debt and the little one is having a blast.  Things are good. 
Contrary to the beliefs of others.
It is so irritating to do what we feel God has called us to do and to continue getting flack for it.  But, as I type that, I remember once again, that following Him is not always easy.  But, it is always good.
The time that we have spent apart, (due to my traveling) has been great for us!  We are continuing to learn how to communicate and how to function as one.  It is a learning process, but a learning process that we are improving.  We didn't plan or ask to have this crazy last year.  It has been hard, but the results are worth it.  We are much closer as a husband and wife than we were a year ago.  We would have never planned it, but it just proves once again that God's plans are WAY better than anything we could come up with.