Related Posts with Thumbnails

Saturday, February 27, 2010

and the first week is over

Yep.  I made it through the first week and I'm still alive and kicking!

It was actually a really great week as far as work was concerned.  The little one was with me all week - so that was fabulous as well!

My youngest sister and brother came to the big D to stay with me - they watched the little one and did their school while I was at work.  Then, when I came home from work we all played.  Fun times.
As for my poor husband - his week was not so good.
First of all, he wasn't with us, so that in itself is bad.  Yea, my self esteem needs help, I know.  
But really, it was a sad week for him - his best friend went home to Heaven on Tuesday.

An amazingly wonderful thing for him, a really sad thing for my husband.  So, it's been a hard week - we knew that this was coming, as his cancer had returned and was spreading rapidly.  We have known for months that every day might be his last here on Earth.  But, it is still hard when it happens.

I feel bad because I am not the best at understanding these things.  I'm actually really bad at it.  For me, things are black and white.  He was sick, he was in immense pain, even breathing was labored and very difficult.  So, for me, the fact that right now, he is in Heaven, worshiping our Heavenly Father, is just amazing.  It gives me chills.  It makes my eyes water.  Not out of sadness, but out of unbelievable happiness. I'm actually kinda jealous.  I mean seriously - in Heaven.  At HIS feet.  I could go on for years...
How cool!

For my husband, things are not so black and white.
He believes the same as me, he knows that being in Heaven is wonderful, but he is still sad.  His mind is full of thoughts - of sadness for the friend that he has lost.  For the phone call that won't ever happen again.  For the friend that he will not be able to visit again.  It is really hard for him to not be sad.
I wish I understood how his brain worked. 

For years, the fact that I think a little differently than most was not an issue.  That's because it was just me - no "we" in sight.  It's much easier to seem normal when you are the only person that you are comparing yourself to...  Now that I'm married - it's different.  I'm trying to learn to understand how people think.  I'm trying to learn to not be so black and white.  It's just hard.  Especially since black and white is much less stressful - not many emotions involved.  Emotions make me tired.  But, I will keep trying.

So, my husband is in Colorado for the funeral.  The little one and I are returning to H-Town tomorrow.  I leave for NY on Tuesday - the same day my husband returns home.  I have a feeling that this next month is going to fly by.  But, we will survive and we will enjoy the process.

My sister took some pics of the little one this week - this is one of my favorites.  She's a very talented 16 year old, don't you think?

Monday, February 22, 2010

Ramblings from a nervous girl...

My first day working at corporate is tomorrow.  My direct boss is out of town for the week.  I'm not sure how the week is going to go.  I'm just a little nervous.

The great thing about this week is that I get to spend every evening with my little one!  I have some very cool siblings who have offered their services to help watch the little one while I work.  So, every morning I will get to play with him before I go to work and every evening I will get to put him to sleep.  I will also get to keep to keep an eye on that second tooth.  It's right underneath the surface - I'm thinking it will pop out any day now!  No pics of the actual tooth yet, that picture is easier to think about than to actually capture.  So, for right now, you will only be able to see his cute little face and my chubby fingers.

I'm staying at Grandma's home this week.  It is so nice to have all the space of a large kitchen to cook, I mean, throw things in a crock-pot.  Tonight, I am making Drip Beef from the Pioneer Woman.  A favorite of my brother. I've got to keep him fed so that he will continue helping with the little one!
I will not have another 7 days in a row like this for quite some time, so I'm pretty excited!

I am traveling to some far away places in the near future.  Tomorrow, I will get my travel plans and will let you know all of the places that I am going to visit.  I am really going to miss my family while I am away.  But, they will get some very cool gifts from my travels abroad.

I'm sad that my husband doesn't get to spend this fun week with us, but he is busy with work and school.  He is (hopefully) using this week to get ahead in school, since he will have the little one while I am away.  He is great at getting everything done while I am out of town, I'm actually impressed with how smoothly things run even when I am away.

Yep.  Tonight I am rambling.  I think it has something to do with my fourth sentence in this post.  So, instead of continuing with my nervous habit, I'm bringing this to a close.  I'm going to find my Bible and do a little bit of reading.  and sleeping.

And then, up and off to work.  Hopefully it will all go smoothly!

Thursday, February 18, 2010

blessings from today

Today, I wasn't feeling too well.  I've been fighting a cold and this morning it was winning.  So, I hit snooze about 10 times and once I finally woke up, I was obviously running late.  

Somehow, in 40 minutes, I was able to get ready and pump some food for the little one. 

When I got to work, I was soon introduced to one of the meanest people in retail.  She is a manager at the store where I am doing facials.  She was not kind.  She was not grateful.  She was not friendly.  She was not nice.  But, she was a blessing.


Because she QUICKLY brought me to the feet Jesus. (blessing 251) At first, I was very frustrated with her.  I mean seriously, I'm in her store, making her store money, and I am not costing her a dime.  Yet, she wanted to be rude.  My first thought was, ugh!  I wanted to complain and be mad.  I could feel my blood boiling. I tweeted something about mean people never being allowed to work in retail.  Yep, 15 minutes into my day, I was ready to leave.

But, I think I'm learning something from this gratitude listing thing.  Although my first thought was to be angry.  My second thought was to go to my Father.  To ask Him for help to remain calm.  To ask Him to give her peace.  To help her have a better day.  To help whatever is going on in her life to not get her down.  Before I knew it, I was praying for her and was no longer irritated.

The rest of the day moved along at a steady pace.  I ingested quite a bit of Tylenol Cold & Sinus. (blessing 252)  It saved me today.

My son is still teething and as my husband says "has a unending river of snot flowing from his nose" - My poor husband is soon going to lose his mind.  I fly home tomorrow night, so we will all be together again soon.  Evidently, today, the little one decided that he needed to have all of his daddy's attention.  This was not very conducive to my husband getting any work done.  Except, that is, the work of messaging me pictures with cute captions, (blessing 253) such as:  

Hello, my name is Mr. Grumpy Pants.  
My mum is at work and my dad should be playing with me. 
 Instead, he thinks I can be occupied with a few measly toys while he tries to get his work done.  
Silly, silly daddy.

Just a few other gifts from Him today:
  • fluffy snow that turned crunchy from the sun - I am familiar with crunchy snow, so it made me smile. (blessing 254)
  • godiva chocolate cheesecake. (blessing 255)
  • mandarin orange spark - without it, my eyelids might not open. (blessing 256)
  • Medela Symphony pump.  It is the bomb dot com of breastpumps.  (blessing 257)

Monday, February 15, 2010

And so it begins...

Today is February 15, 2010.

Today is the first day of my new contract.

The first day of my new job.  The beginning of much traveling.

Today, I am off to Chicago and will be there until Friday.

It isn't getting easier.  The little one is getting bigger.  More interactive.  More mobile.  More adorable every day.

But, this is my season of working outside the home.  It is my husband's season of working from home and playing with the little one.  This is what we are called to do right now.  I've written about this before, but sometimes, I just have to remind myself again...

Ecclesiastes 3:1 - There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.

 So, as I've said in the past - we will do it.  And we will find a way to be thankful and happy.

Instead of sulking and griping about missing my baby boy, I will be thankful for what my Heavenly Father has given me.    In ALL things, I am learning to be thankful.

I am thankful for:

  • a growing, smiling, crawling little one (blessing 238)
  • a wonderful husband who is willing to work from home so that our little one can have one of his parents with him at all times. (blessing 239)
  • a husband who is dedicated to finishing his degree and to loving and supporting his family (blessing 240
  • 4 Puddleducks who love me unconditionally at all times.  For those of you who don't know - the Puddleducks are my animals.  Currently, there are 4 of them.  Why Puddleduck, you might ask?  Well. quite a while ago, my younger sister informed me that my animals really shouldn't have the same last name as me, seeing as how they are not human.  I couldn't fault her logic, so I asked her what she thought their last name should be...without hesitation, she said "Puddleduck" - and so, my animals adopted a new last name and we have never looked back. (blessing 241-244)
  • airplanes and their ability to get me to a far away place fairly quickly (blessing 245)
  • airplane pilots for their quick and solid thinking (blessing 246)
  • my iPhone - seriously, one of the coolest phones I've ever had! (blessing 247)
  • my MBT's  - they embrace my feet and keep my back and knees from hurting (blessing 248)
  • My YouVersion iPhone app.  I love being able to pull up my Bible with the tap of a finger (blessing 249)
  • My really warm coat and scarf - without it, this Texan might freeze in Chicago!  :) (blessing 250)
It is amazing to me how just thinking of and writing down what I am thankful for changes my attitude.  In just a few minutes of focusing on the gifts He has given me, of focusing on today,  I am in a much better mood.  

Thankfully, I was reminded of the importance of attitudes today when I visited MckMama's blog.  I look forward to reading MckMama's posts, but today there was a surprise blogger! Today, the post was written by MckDaddy.  It was exciting to read his first post to my husband and for us to be able to talk about it together.  It was something that I needed to read today.  A reminder to check my attitude.  To live today.  To not worry about all of the traveling that I will be doing in the next year, but to be grateful for what He has given me today.  You can read his post here- it is really great!

I'm definitely still missing my family, but in a much better way.  

Missing them? Yes.  Mad that I am having to leave once again?  Not anymore.

In everything, give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.  1 Thessalonians 5:18

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

My sister is moving

Tonight, it is finally hitting me.  My little sister is moving far away. 

Yes, I know that I have enough siblings to spare, but all 8 of them are special to me in their own way.  This specific sister is no different.  Except for the fact that she is moving.
She has a good reason.  She recently graduated from college and was commissioned into the United States Army.  I’m so proud of her.  Such a determined girl she is...
We never imagined that this would be her path.  
We never planned for this to be her path.  
If it were up to our family, we would make her stay here, in the great state of Texas, with us.  But, as I’ve said before, thankfully we serve an Amazing God who knows what is best for us.  He makes such better plans than we could ever think up.  Life goes much easier if we don’t fight, but instead follow.
And that is what she is going to do.
She is a tiny thing, girly in all ways.  The brothers find it amusing that she is a 2nd Lieutenant in the Army.  She just smiles and informs them that she is going to be the “Elle Woods” of the Army.  (For those of you who don’t know who Elle Woods is - go watch Legally Blonde.  Then, imagine her in the Army.  And you will have a fairly accurate view (minus the blonde hair) of my adorable sister)
She is going to do great things.  She is going to work hard and shine HIS light in a dark world.  And she’s excited to be able to do it.

I’m excited for her.  But, I’m so going to miss her terribly.  I’m going to miss her hanging out with my little boy.  I’m worried that he might not remember her.  I’m worried that she is going to be living all alone, far, far away.  
I’m going to stop worrying.  My Heavenly Father created her and He is watching out for her.  I’m so thankful that I can give my worries to Him and He will take them and exchange my worries for peace.  
I have 2 more weeks for her to reside in Texas.  Why waste it worrying?

I am thankful for these 2 weeks. (Blessing 233)  Thankful that she is still going to be in the US (at least for a while) (Blessing 234)  Thankful for her smile. (Blessing 235) Thankful that she loves my baby boy past the moon. (Blessing 236) Thankful that she loves the Lord more than I can explain.  (Blessing 237)

I'm going to choose to quit worrying and instead be glad that she is here for a little bit longer. 

Dry Skin - I'm not your fan

I hate itchy skin.  Actually, I'm not even a fan of dry skin.  Especially when it is located on my body.

My poor skin is longing to be itched, hydrated.  I know how to make my itchy skin go away.  I know that itching won't help.

But, tonight, my self-control is failing me.

At this rate, I might not have any skin left on my arms in the morning.

You'd think that I wouldn't have this problem, as I was not born yesterday.  I have had dry skin before.  (Like when I was on bedrest and itched scratches into my calves) Then again, let's forget that example.
I spend my days teaching others how to care for their skin.  How to treat dry skin.  How to avoid itchy, sandpaper feeling skin.

I know that I need to go put on body creme on my arms. I know that while I'm at it, I might as well do a glyco peel on my face seeing as how I'm not sure when the last time I did one was... I know that those simple steps would lead to less itchy skin on my arms and much smoother skin on my face in the morning.

Yet, I sit here and itch my arm because the body lotion is in the other room.  The glyco peels are in the bathroom.  Very, very far away.  So,  I sit here and type about my itchy dry skin.

Along with the itching, I'm working on my Project Life scrapbook.  Amazing idea.  Wonderful design.

If only it came with an Oompa-Loompa to put it all together.

I kept hoping for one to show up last month, which is probably why I just picked up my pictures from CVS yesterday.  Evidently,  the Oompa-Loompas are too busy, so I'm on my own.  Left to my own creativity, organization and time-management skills to put this thing together.

Yep.  Houston - we have a problem.

The good news?  It is not even the 15th of February and I have all of my January pictures cropped, printed AND picked up.  In addition, I already uploaded and edited 2 pictures for this week.

Wow. Sometimes,  I even amaze myself.

Want to see them?  Good.  Here they are!

The first one is my sweet son giving me the "Please hurry with the Black Beans and Guacamole, or I might make a loud noise inside this quiet Chipotle Mexican Grill" look.

The second one is of my sweet son looking up at his crazy Mummy who is trying to take a picture of him and his little elephant friend, Ramona - all while his father is driving down the road.  He can't quite understand where Mummy is appearing from...

I am so happy that my Heavenly Father loves me no matter how insane I am.  He tells me that He loves me on a constant basis.  My prayer is that I see and hear those messages instead of just being insane.  Today, He told me He loved me through:

  • A working car (blessing 216)
  • A sweet husband who drove me to work today (and stopped at Panera so that I could get a Cinnamon Crunch Bagel.  yum.  (blessing 217)
  • A wonderful son who giggles with the best of them (blessing 218)
  • My wonderful friends- Sandy, Yira and Mary Ann.  They make me laugh and they make going to work worthwhile. (blessing 219, 220, 221)
  • 4 dogs who are amazingly excited when I get home from work (blessing 222-226)
  • 2 Lungs that both worked without an inhaler today (blessing 227-228)
  • 2 Eyes that didn't itch (blessing 229-230)
  • A full tub of Body creme for arms that do itch. (blessing 231)
  • the crazy thing that is my skin.  Seriously - how could something so complex generate out of nothing?  Simply put, it couldn't.  But He could create it - and He did.  (blessing 232)

Monday, February 8, 2010

My first - Not Me Monday

This morning, at 6:00 the alarm went off.  I absolutely did not hit the snooze button 3 times.  I would never do that - snooze buttons are for lazy people.  Nope.  Not me.

Then, at 7:30 when the little one work up, we definitely did not go curl back up into my bed.  We had plently to do - we would never put our "to-do" list on hold.  Nope. Not me.

At 8:30, when I was hoping to leave for work, I was not getting ready to jump in the shower.  Nope.  Not me.  I am always on time.

At 9:30, when I needed to be out the door, I absolutely had my car keys in hand.  I never misplace them or anything for that matter. ever.  Nope.  Not me.

At 9:45, when I found my keys, I did not need to hunt for my purse.  Again, I never misplace things.  Nope.  Not me.

At 10:45, when I running on time to get to work, I did not miss my exit, therefore placing me in the midst of downtown Houston traffic.  Nope.  Not me.

During work, I did not incessantly check facebook to see if my friend had delivered her baby boy.  Nope.  Not me.  I knew that I would get a call, so I would not need to log on every 15 minutes.

After work, I most definitely did not go to Borders and buy calendars just because they were only a dollar.  I'd never fall for marketing such as that...  Not me.

Tonight, as I sit here surfing the web and writing this post, I am doing so becuase I have free time.  I do not have all of my January expense reports left to finish.  Nope.  Not me.  I'm always on top of everything...

Welcome to my first Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.

Friday, February 5, 2010

and there was a reason for the screaming...

...we have a new tooth in the house!

We are very happy for it to finally appear, it has been bugging the little one for quite some time. (blessing 214)

Needless to say, the little one was a happy camper today!  

I also received an email telling me that we won a personalized book from Memoir of Me!

I can't begin to tell you how excited I am about this!!!  As soon as we receive the book, I'll post pictures so that you all can experience it along with us.  You can read more about the books on her blog.

I am so happy to be home and to not be traveling for the next week.  The little guy and I are going to cuddle and chill.  Laugh and lounge.  

I am so grateful for the time I have with him.  In less than 2 weeks I will start my new job.  But, instead of stressing about all the "what ifs" - I am going to feverently pray for peace (stop praying for understanding) and just enjoy loving on my baby, before my life gets even more insane. (blessing 215)

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Happy Groundhog Day!

So, it's groundhog day and I'm hearing that he has decided that we will have 6 more weeks of winter.

I'm not a fan.  Evidently, I read the Chronicles of Narnia too much as a child.

I landed in Norman, Oklahoma last night.  The trees were covered in ice - gorgeous. (blessing 211) The ground was covered in snow - pretty. (blessing 212)  gorgeous and pretty, in a "Narnia Winter" sort of way.  I was just waiting for my shuttle driver to turn into the White Witch's right hand man.  It was a long shuttle ride. 

Thankfully, I made it to my hotel without being whisked away to a castle whose yard is full of statues...Although there is one animal statue outside my hotel.  I just looked the other way and walked quickly into the lobby.

Safe and sound.
No white witch.
No Turkish Delights.
I didn't turn into a statue.

Today, the sun came out for a bit and the white winter started melting away.  And it was beautiful. (blessing 213)

It just wasn't soon enough for the groundhog...